Thursday, August 2

What The Blue Jay Knows.......

Finally. Our son has graduated from college. Time to enjoy the good life, free from parental responsibilities. At least NO more tuition bills! Our job is done, right? Well let’s put it this way, it may be a little too early to turn his bedroom into a home office. Current estimates show as many as 85% of college graduates will return home after graduation with no job in sight. REALLY? Again I say, "REALLY"?

The median starting salary for students graduating from a four-year college in 2011 was $27,000, according to a study done by the John J. Heldrich Center, and they were the ones LUCKY enough to find a job. Here's another sobering fact for my fellow parents: only half of recent college graduates said that their first job required a college degree. This may very well be the case for our son. BELIEVE me, it's not like he hasn't been looking for a job, quite frankly that is ALL the poor boy has done. As a mother this grieves my heart. He spent 12 years of his life in our public education system, 4 years of undergrad work, received his degree and now can't find a job...not in his chosen field. He very well may be one of these college graduates that can only get a job that he could have landed right out of high school. Okay that just stinks! Quite frankly it is so unfair to him AND his parents who have spent a small fortune on his college tuition. So now the question is grad school or no grad school? We would gladly put him through grad school, but at the end of MORE education and another degree would he be able to find a job in his chosen field? So this is where we are at the present moment, sort of in limbo waiting for a BIG sign. Therefore during this interim  period , how do parents and college grads handle this time of transition?
Mom and Dad Blue Jay still tending the nest for their Baby Blues.

Transitioning from the world of academia to the “outside” world can be difficult for these graduates. Returning home, deciding on graduate school and looking for a job can be a difficult and stressful task for grads, but what about the parents?
This Blue Jay nest is getting too small for these growing Baby Blues.

Our son and your daughter aren't the same individuals they were when they left for college. They are no longer used to answering to anyone, and they may not welcome inquiries as to their where abouts. Are you going to require a curfew? Many people work out the ground rules through trial and error, but having a one on one conversation up front may save time and hurt feelings. For instance, it would be courteous for them to tell you if they are planning to be out late. On the other hand, try not to press for details. It’s about mutual respect.
It's time for Mom and Dad to teach the babes to fly, their job is not quite done yet.

Our child is no longer a child but an adult. Graduates should be taking part in the daily household responsibilities. That may include loading the dishwasher, cooking dinner, running errands, mowing the lawn, painting the porch, or even cleaning out the gutters. As a parent you don’t want to make them too comfortable. The mama blue jay knows when it's time to start taking the feathers from her nest.
This Baby Blue refused to fly and was lovingly 
shoved out of the nest by a good Mom and Dad. 
He will fly when the neighboring cat comes for dinner.

Be clear about long-term expectations. Sit down with your grad and come up with goals that are challenging, yet attainable. Do you expect them to be fully employed and on their own in one year? Maybe two? Once they are making enough money encourage them to have a savings plan. You don’t want them blowing all of their money on “wants.” Instead they should be saving for “needs” such as food, transportation, clothing, and most importantly.....their very own roof over their head. You may need to press them to find a home of their own. It may sound harsh to some parents, but every good parent knows what the mama blue jay knows...... sometimes you must push your baby bird out of the nest.

This Baby Blue found it's wings and flew to a new tree where 
  he will build his own nest. Mom and Dad B. Jay are so proud.

Allow them to fly'll be glad you did!


I could not resist this little Blue Jays 'bad hair' day!

the domestic curator ~ ronda